Food Junkies - Kerryann Dunlop

London Live is my new favourite channel. It shows lots of Spaced, and also lots of shows where random people from London hang out and talk about stuff and explore the capital. Also because I met some of the stars of Drag Queens of London the other week and they were very nice, although I haven't actually watched it yet but I'm sure when I do it will appear here. Anyway.

Food Junkies is a nice fast cut, fast talking food and drink show about, you've guessed it, London. Kerryann is an down to earth gunner and sometimes she wishes Arsene Wenger was her dad. She was on one of those Jamie Oliver kitchen programs or something, and now she has a youtube celebrityship. Actually, the whole thing that I saw on TV this morning seems to be already on her channel here. She was rustling up some very tasty looking fried chicken ('the Colonel don't have nothing on me') when she came out with this nugget. And it's worth remembering, because just cos it's unpretentious and delicious, doesn't mean your humble grub has to be also f*cking ugly. Put it in a little pile on a board and sprinkle over some spring onions and lime you lazy reverse snobs.

Christmas Card designs grand reveal

This is a special post, and some special Real TV Wisdom drawings. I've been scouring the land of digitally available video material on the theme of culinary Christmas for the past few weeks trying to find my favourite celebrity chef christmas soundbites (and expressions). The results are the below Christmas card designs which I will be sending out to a special list of people, and will also selling a limited number of packs in the soon to be launcehd REal TV Wisdom Shop. Exciting times isn't it?

If you think you should be one of the select people (you might be already) or if you're interested in buying a pack, feel free to pop me a comment, or an email, or shout really really loud (I might hear you).

Quote from Heston's Christmas Feast, originally aired 18.12.2009 on Channel 4. I really hope Heston does another one of these this year, where a group of celebrities sit in a souped up grotto and make soundbites about the magic of Christmas whilst intercut with scientific experiments and visits to the middle east. 

 From Jamie's Best Ever Christmas, aired 20.12.10 again on Channel 4. Poor Jamie, knowing that his best Christmas and best gravy are forever behind him now.

This is from Nigel Slater's 12 Tastes of Christmas from last year 14.12.12 on BBC One. It took me forever to draw that Christmas Jumper! I love Nigel, love his expressions and his suppers, although I do get him confused with that other posh one with the garden. 

From a way back, this is Nigella Express Season's Eatings 10.12.2007. I watched a LOT of Nigella Christmas clips, but this just summed it up for me, I'd like a little Nigella Christmas Fairy to say calming things, and innuendos to bring peace and tranquility to the holiday season. She's a bit like Attenborough to me, just a very calming televisual presence. I have to say I drew this and sent to the printers before the recent media interest in Nigella's personal life, which may give a somewhat different reading of the meaning of this card. To which I echo Nigella's no comment.

Looking forward to this years Seasonal Cookery Programming. 

Raymond Blanc

Ah I love cookery television. I know that Pharrell and Mr Thicke have been trying to tell me this real wisdom all summer, but somehow when coming from such a respectable frenchman it carries more weight. Whether applied to the mixing of cordon bleu techniques, the vagaries of appropriate nudity, or the consideration of whether drawing television chefs is a good use of my time, so many lines are indeed blurred. 

And that is, indeed, life. 

John Torode

can't fault your logic John, or your 'this is self evident' face.

Jay Rayner

What more deep a truth than an acknowledgement of the universality of mortality? Jay Rayner of course adds a cynically personal touch, which I cannot believe, i hope to see him again on Masterchef, again with his witty hair and occasional cravat (or am I confusing him with Matt Preston?), what more can we hope for in life Mr Rayner? Surely not exquisitely crafted appetisers?